Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Humiliation


So, I was reading this silly discussion thread at www.fark.com entitled "What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you in front of someone you had a crush on?"...

... and I laughed at myself, because I remembered something I did when I was younger but certainly not smarter.

I couldn't have been but seven or eight years old. One day, I came home from school excited and worried. I told Mom that Amber -- my impossibly hot across-the-alley-neighbor** -- had related to me on the bus that her birthday was the next day.

Frantic, I asked my mom what I could possibly give her as a present, given the short notice. In turn, Mom helped me make a rose -- and dear God, I hope you believe me, because this is so funny I'm nearly peeing myself -- from TOILET PAPER.

We made a rose from rolled-up and folded-up toilet paper and even added some perfume to make it smell nice.

The next day, I sheepishly gave it to her on the bus. She took it, and said, "I was just kidding. Today is not my birthday. I lied. And this was made from toilet paper."

I was humiliated. I'm pretty sure I tried to pass it off, like "I knew that, it's a joke gift. I mean, come on, it's made of toilet paper."

FAIL.


**
Amber, as I've come to learn, later became a Section-8-enjoying hussy with a clown car for a vagina. Hah!!

4 comments:

jess said...

I've always loved the word 'hussy.' :) My most embarassing moment? When a boy on the bus in eighth grade gave me a real flower for Valentine's Day. And my sister told me that my mom paid him to do it.... which she had. OH the humiliation.

inowpronounceyou said...

Oh dude this was classic...just CLASSIC!

startingtoday said...

When I was a kid, I loved my neighbor. He was younger than me by six months. When I was 6, I knew I loved him. So on Valentine's day, I made a card and gave him a card at school. He didn't say anything about it after school when he came over to play. I tried to kiss him on the cheek, and he ran away to his house across the street. I cried all night.

Lisa said...

Ohh, it's a sweet idea. Very bizarrely executed, but very sweet nevertheless. And? Hilarious.